A melancholic look is visible, but not a melancholic heart.
For as long as I can remember my body has been the site of my most impassioned emotional battles. It is the root of my deepest fears. I find myself engaged in a constant struggle to gain a new understanding of my body, in the hopes that it will give me some sense of control over the uncontrollable. The desire to reconcile body and mind is my motivation to create.
Breathe in- breathe out, sometimes I forget to tell my heart to beat.
The body is full of mysterious processes whose controlling mechanisms are beyond my reach. How does the heart beat? Or a cell become cancerous? Why can my body fight some diseases and not others? Anxiety sets in when I realize the futility of my conscious thoughts.
My impulse to understand is not aimed at unraveling the mysteries of the body, rather to develop a new relationship with it. A relationship defined by reverence and insight instead of fear. By exploring the historic, scientific, and linguistic qualities of the body, I continually discover more about my community and myself.
I view the use of intense, very tight beadwork and sound as a reflection of these thematic concerns. The movement of a needle piercing fabric connotes many of the involuntary repetitions of the body: breath, blood flow, and digestion. Bodily rhythms are also mirrored within the sound composition. The brightly colored, glistening beads and ethereal sound combine to transform and transcend the viscera into something different and unexpected.